Elizabeth and Darcy!?

It seems not that not only one Bennet sister is to be married, but two! Elizabeth has just told me of Darcy's proposal and most surprisingly, her acceptance! I was worried at first that she was not marrying for love but simply for money, class, and the chance of not remaining alone. But she has told me other wise! Elizabeth said that she has experienced Darcy's change of heat first hand at her visit to Pemberly. She saw his kindness towards his sister and housemaids. She says she is in love with Mr. Darcy and would love nothing more than to marry him! Now the both of us shall be the happiest young ladies in the world!

The proposal.

Mother's schemes have actually worked! After leaving Bingley and I alone again, he proposed to me! Naturally, I accepted, it being the sole thing I have wanted since his arrival at Netherfeild. I shall be eternally happy! Also, after this has happen and the wedding has taken place, I do believe that Lydia and Wickam's elopement will be quickly forgotten. Oh, I am just so happy! I knew good things would come of his returning to Netherfield!

Mother's schemes.

Mother is all of the sudden, once again in love with that idea of Bingley and I joining in marriage. She is constantly trying to get us so be alone and suggesting walks with Darcy, Elizabeth, and Mary. I do not deny the fact that I enjoy it. Although it is rather comical to see mother try and "wink" at Mary to leave the room, I do also enjoy the fact that Bingley and I are left alone. I do feel a greater attachment growing from me towards him, but I also feel his attachment growing towards me.

Should I trust him?

I have been thinking about what I am to do about Bingley. He has all the sudden shown himself back into my life and my prior feelings are beginning to resurface. I do not want to fall back on love with him if he is just going to leave me again heart broken. But I feel as if he is staying for good this time for he acts like it. He even sat right next to me at the dinner table tonight, paying a great deal of attention to me. Elizabeth is warning me not to get emotionally attached again... but what's the harm?

Heartache.

He is back. Mr. Bingley is back at Netherfield. Just as I thought I had resided my feelings for him he returns and it all bubbles to the surface. Mother was enraged and refused to send an invite for supper. But three days after his arrival to Netherfield he came to our home with Darcy. When I saw his face I was filled with joy and sadness all at the same time. I was so overcome with emotion and I do not know what I am to do the next time he visits because he has promised he will.

Surprised by Darcy!

Lydia and Wickham have come to visit us before they go up North, much to my family's discomfort. Darcy walks about acting has if nothing has happened and has done nothing wrong and Lydia walks about not knowing what she has done to the family. Lydia also told Elizabeth and I that Darcy was at her wedding! Lizzy wrote to Mr. Gardiner to get more details and it turns out that Darcy was the one that found Lydia and Wickham and also the one that paid Wickham!

The other love birds...

I have been thinking a lot of Darcy and Elizabeth's relationship lately. It is obvious that Elizabeth has changed her opinion about him, as have I, recently learning his new character. He is kind and patient with his sister and maids and has reasons for everything he has done. I do believe that if Darcy asked Elizabeth to accept his hand again she would not deny it. But I feel that this news of Lydia and Wickham would only give him more reason why he should not love her.

Oh Lydia.

After Mr. Gardiner followed Mr. Bennet to look for the eloped couple, father soon returned home with no success. Thankfully, a letter arrived the other day from Mr.Gardiner saying that he found the two and that Wickham will agree to marry Lydia if he is payed a small income from us. He wants to be payed to marry and live with my sister?! I do not thinking lowly of people often, but Mr. Wickham is a different story. The couple is to visit us soon. My mother is thrilled but as for the rest of the family, we very much resent Mr. Wickham.

Family reputation.

We have not have any sort of word from Lydia since her departure. I am worried for her safety and well being. My father has left to go search for her and he is checking every hotel to fine the missing couple. I do hope he finds her. What worries me the most is that Lydia left a letter for Colonel Foster's wife and the end states that she will soon sine 'Lydia Wickham'.

Lizzy's home

Elizabeth has come back into town. She told me about her trip and mentioned that she happened to see Bingley and his sister during her stay. As much as I hate to admit it I felt a sharp name when I heard his name. Lizzy told me that Miss Bingley was awful, as usual. Right as my pain was beginning to mollify, this subject had to be brought up...

Lydia and Wickham!

I woke up this morning to a bit of a shock! Lydia has eloped with Wickham! I would not have minded their marriage earlier on, but after what I have heard from Lizzy about his betrayal to Mr. Darcy and how tricked Darcy's sister into almost marrying him, I am infuriated! I am in the process of writing Elizabeth about it right now!

LIzzy at the Gardiners.

Elizabeth has gone to visit the Gardiners and news has come that Darcy arrived unexpectedly. Isn't that splendid?!? After I talked to Elizabeth about her trip and what had happened between her and Mr. Darcy, I saw the regret in her eyes. I have a feeling that Mr. Darcy is not the only one with strong feelings between the two. In the near future, I see Elizabeth marrying Mr. Darcy!

Thoughts

How thankful I am that I have Elizabeth to talked to again. I am so grateful that we have each other to talk to again. I have a feeling, though, that she knows something and is avoiding telling me. What if it is something about Bingley? I really do wish she would tell me. I am sure she has her reason though. She is most likely trying to keep me safe. She is a good sister.

Thoughts of him.. again.

Mother says she does not want the see Mr. Bingley ever again. Is it terrible that I do not wish the same? That even though I am heart broken and distraught, that I would give anything for him to be at Netherfeild again? I just wish I knew what I did wrong. I regret not going to see him while I had the chance. But that also might have made things worse. Oh, what am I to do?

The News.

Elizabeth has told me an immense amount of shocking news! Firstly, She told me about Darcy's proposal and her refusal and how she refused and the reasons she told him of not accepting his hand. Then she told me of the long letter he wrote her with explanations of all her reasons not to marry him. One of the reasons being about Mr. Wickham. It turns out that Wickham is the bad person and Mr. Darcy is the good!

Home.

Today, Elizabeth and I were accompanied home with our other two sisters Catherine and Lydia. They are still 'soldier' crazy, if you will, and that is all they conversed about on the ride home. I do hope that they are being careful and not naive. They also told Elizabeth and I some strange news of Mr. Wickham and Miss King. She has gone to Liverpool to stay and not be with Wickham. Elizabeth had a very strange reaction to this. I am sure she will tell me why later.

Going home.

Elizabeth and I are to meet today on our return to home. I am very excited to see my dear sister for I miss the friendship between sisters and I have much to tell her and I am sure she has much to tell me. I do hope she had a good time visiting with her friend and found that Mr. and Mrs. Collin's home was suitable. I wonder if there is still a chance of seeing Bingley for the short amount of time I have left here. I hope not. But then again I do....

Another walk...

I went on yet another walk to let my thoughts that run so rampidly in my mind settle and organize. First I organized the thought of Elizabeth and Darcy. Darcy had asked Elizabeth to be his wife she denied his request. I asked myself several time why she would deny such a mans hand and told myself it was most likely for reasons of private and that I should not pry. I then thought of Bingley once more. It has been very long indeed since I have seen him and I was beginning to question if I should go and see him. I told myself to put the event into the past and place it in the back folders of my mind.

What a surprise...

News has just come to me that Mr. Darcy fancies my dear, beloved sister, Elizabeth. I do not blame him for his liking of my sister. She is very charming and had many redeeming qualities. I know he thinks that she is very opinionated but I do hope he looks past that and makes some sort of step with Elizabeth. If he sees her the way that I see her he indeed will marry the sweet, loving girl I know to be my sister.

Dear Lizzy

I went on a walk around the Longbourn neighborhood and thought of Elizabeth. I really do hope she is enjoying herself in the company of her friends, but I do miss her immensely. I usually often tell her of my feelings and console in her my deepest feelings, and now that she is not here I have no one to express myself to. I do not blame her though. I am so exceedingly happy that she has gone to see her dear friend and Mr. and Mrs. Collins new home. I really do hope she is enjoying herself.

Oh Bingley

Today, I wrote to Elizabeth who is visiting her dear friend now known as Mrs. Collins. I tried to not sound as if I was still depressed and heart broken, when in reality, I am. I still think of Mr. Bingley often, thinking of his kindness towards me and his hospitality of letting me stay at his abode when I was sick. I also often think of the abruptness of his leaving Netherfield. How could he leave so easily? Was I not as important as I thought I was in his eyes? I guess he has his reasons. I must not assume.